Dear Friends,
As I started writing this, I was waiting to hear about my dear uncle Richard who was getting ready to transition from this earth. It was Halloween eve when I heard from my cousin that my uncle was not expected to make it through the night. I was saddened to hear this news. But it was also interesting as I had just been contemplating on how much I love Halloween.
I love the irreverence of this holiday in that it pokes fun at death and the afterlife. And all of us can suspend our personalities for a short time and take on the persona of something or someone else. We can become a superhero, a rock star, a goblin, a zombie, a witch or a ghost. We can become anything we want to be and the best part of all is that there is no judgment about this temporary change as we know in the morning we can shift back to our normal personalities.
I ponder on the thought that the veil to the other side is thinner on this day and that the spirit world can be seen and felt more readily. When I was a kid, however, I would be terrified of graveyards. I expected the dead to rise up and walk among the living. As I was thinking of these things Halloween eve, I was thinking how fitting it would be for my uncle to depart on Halloween when perhaps his transition out of his body into his new spirit body would be a bit easier for him.
However, his soul lingered a bit longer. His spirit had its own special timing as to when he was ready to go back to his larger sense of home. Perhaps he was waiting for a loved one to arrive or perhaps he just wanted a few more minutes with his earth bound loved ones. I know he had several dear ones waiting on the other side who had already crossed over. I saw them and knew they were happily awaiting his arrival.
My uncle was the last of my mother’s siblings who left this earth. His death is bittersweet for her. She has survived her parents and all of her brother and sisters. This was also my last uncle to depart this earth. However, he had lived a long life into his 90s. He was a big Irish guy who loved to drink beer, country dance and travel with his beloved wife. He was not perfect, as none of us are, but he lived a well lived life. My family and I toasted his life after his transition yesterday!
My mother will get through this loss as she always does. She is a tough woman who has witnessed death many times over. She lost her beloved son, husband, siblings, parents and several close friends. And some of these deaths were very traumatic. I have witnessed her in her sadness but I have also witnessed her in her ability to rise above her grief and move on. It wasn’t always easy, especially after the death of my brother Jeff. However, she put one foot in front of the other and kept moving forward maintaining her ability to care for herself and laugh with others despite her pain.
Here is the thing I most want to share with you today and the greatest lesson I continue to learn from my dear sweet mother. By example, my mother continues to teach me how to keep moving despite suffering and sorrow. But most importantly, she teaches me that there is always someone else to love. I observed my mother lose several best friends. And within a short time, she would make a new best friend. She didn’t skip a beat. It’s not that she doesn’t miss her other loved ones, but she knows deep in her heart that she has more love to give to others. I’m not saying she knows this consciously, perhaps she does, but it also just comes naturally for her. She instinctively knows that love should not be contained.
I’m not worried about my mother losing her last sibling on this earth. I feel sad for her but I also know she will continue to move beyond her grief and enjoy the people she still has in her life. The love she felt for my uncle will continue to be offered to him but she will also channel this love to the rest of the family.
I cannot think of a more profound lesson I could have learned from my mother. Life brings all of us things that hurt and sadden us. And sometimes, life brings us to our knees with grief and hopelessness. However, if we can all take this lesson from my mother, and slowly rise up, one leg at a time, one foot in front of the other, we can find peace and joy again. I suspect most of you have lost loved ones and I know a few people who are also witnessing loved ones preparing to leave this earth as I am writing now. My hope and prayer to them and to you, is that eventually you will take this love you feel for the departed soul, and share it with the rest of the world. As you do this, you also will be healed.
There are so many people and animals on this earth who need your loving embrace, your kind smile, your joyful heart. Let your love flow through your heart and out into the world. The ones who need you most will find you! And just know as well, that the love you feel for the departed ones, is not diminished in any way when you move on and love another. It just becomes bigger and stronger and more encompassing.
I wish for all of you that kind of big, strong encompassing love. Perhaps you will be the person who will be the beneficiary of someone who has recently lost a loved one and has that kind of love to share!
What a miracle life is and how precious. Share the love you feel and you will be blessed every day of your life.
Namaste,
Rosemary Veilleux RN
Hi,
Your words are giving me comfort with the loss of my cousin and my father in April.
Thanks
Such good life lessons in your story! I do think often about what you had told me earlier about your mom; she’d lose her best friend, but would make a new best friend shortly thereafter. After losing several very close friends, this is so important to remember that love should not be contained. I am looking forward to meeting your mother one of these days!