Dear friends,
A few years ago, my brother and his dogs stayed with me for a couple of months while he was in transition moving back to Seattle from Wyoming. Between the two of us we had four dogs and two were exuberant pups under the age of 1. There was some crazy yet fun energy around the house. To give myself a little break at times, I would put the young ones in my front room with a gate keeping them contained. They could wrestle and play without me having to worry about them while I focused on work.
In the room, however, was a beautiful Prayer Plant. I knew these plants were nontoxic for dogs, so I didn’t worry about it. On several occasions I would discover them pulling at the leaves, and after about a month of this, my plant wasn’t looking so happy. I failed to consider the toll the dogs would have on the plant. I’m not sure why it took me so long to move the plant after the first time I saw them tearing at it. I guess I was a bit overwhelmed with 4 dogs, 2 cats, my house, yard and businesses that it just didn’t connect strongly with my consciousness. My brother had returned to work, so I was alone with them a good part of the day.
After my brother moved out, I tried to resurrect the sweet plant. Giving it more nourishment and attention and moving it to a spot I thought would help it to come back to life more fully. However, it kept failing. It would start to grow a few inches and then die. I kept attempting to bring it back to health for the last few years. I think I felt guilty about not taking better care of it and shielding it from the puppies that I thought if I was able to bring it back to its full glory, perhaps this would vindicate me somehow.
Well, a few weeks ago, I realized it was on its last leaves. I said my final farewell with sadness but knew it was time to let it go. I ordered a new one which is now flourishing. My plant loving pup is now 4 years old and has no interest in tearing it up. So why am I sharing this story with you. I reflected on my inability to let the plant go. Self judgement for my lack of consciousness towards the plant in its time of need kept me immobile to allow in a new plant. I reflected on how sometimes I still hold onto people, places and things even when the connection to them is no longer flourishing. Perhaps it is partially because I am a taurus sun sign. When we care for something, we care deeply. But I also feel it is a learned behavior that no longer serves me.
It bothered me for the last several years seeing this plant struggle. And now that I have a new plant, I feel so much lighter when gazing at it and it brings me joy. I reflect on how many other things in my life I may need to say goodbye to, but hold onto them, out of a sense of loyalty, guilt, or perhaps sadness. Or it could be that whatever the thing is that I am drawn to release, brought me a great deal of joy at one time. I have lost several friends over the last several years to death, and I still at times feel myself attached to them. I recently moved north of Seattle, and there are many things in Seattle I still miss including friends and places. I still visit them, but not with the consistency I had while living there. I wonder how much my attachment to my prior life keeps me from opening to even more experiences where I am living now.
In looking at your own life, where are the areas where you are struggling, that are no longer serving you, or that are no longer bringing you joy. Perhaps you are in a relationship that is no longer making you happy, it’s wilting but you keep trying to resurrect it over and over with the same outcome. Perhaps you are in a job that is making you unhappy and you keep trying to do more or convince yourself about all the good things about it, only to find that something inside you feels like it’s dying. Or maybe you have a health issue, and you know that something you are doing could be affecting you, but you keep giving those things the same attention and your health doesn’t change. By changing your habits, you would be letting go of the old that doesn’t serve you anymore, in order to bring about something new and more vibrant, your health.
I was also aware that the plant seemed to be carrying post-traumatic stress over being attacked by the 2 puppies. Every time it would get to about 3 inches, it started to die. Almost as if it was afraid to get any bigger as bad things could happen to it. So, it never allowed itself to flourish. Okay, so you might be thinking I’m a bit crazy, but there feels like there is truth here. I believe all living things have a form of conscious awareness and I can feel the consciousness in them when I am paying attention. This also made me reflect on times in my own life when I retreated just as I was starting to grow because of some big bad thing “out there” that could harm me.
Where in your own life is this happening to you. I see this pattern occurring not just with myself, but with my clients, friends, family. Just when things are getting good, then something happens to cause a retreat into old patterns. Years ago, my healing business was really opening. I had clients in other countries and other states around the US. Then I injured my knee and had 2 surgeries and for the next 2 years my focus became on my recovery. Looking back, I realize that my deepest dream was happening but, on some level, it freaked me out. I couldn’t sustain stepping into this new life and was drawn back into what was safer for me at the time, which was discomfort and frustration.
It’s amazing what we can learn from something as benign as a houseplant and in this case a prayer plant. Prayer brings us hope and can move us towards a more profound place of peace. But sometimes, we must let go of the old prayers, as what we were praying or yearning for no longer serves us. When we embrace a new prayer, it brings in new life, new hopes, new possibilities.
Wishing all of you the ability to embrace your own inner healthy prayer plant. As much as possible, let go of that which is wilting in your life and allow in that which brings you joy, hope, possibilities and new life.
Namaste.
Rosemary
That plant never had a prayer.
I love this..and don’t think ‘it’s a bit out there’.
I’ll have to send you a Pic of my new favorite Prayer plant..a different variety than I’ve had in the past.