Dear Friends,
Late Sunday afternoon I was driving home on the interstate from a yoga teacher training. It was a beautiful summer day, sunny and warm. I needed to call my mom to provide some information about a friend of hers who had gone into the rehabilitation center. As is quite often during our conversations, my mother had lots to say about her concerns for me. Was I too tired to be driving all the way there to the training? Was it too expensive? Why did I need to be doing this? Make sure I didn’t quit my day nursing job! She doesn’t seem to quite grasp the idea that my healing work is as much of my day job as my nursing business and in many ways more so.
As she was sharing her litany of fears for me, there appeared in front of my car, a group of motorcycle riders. There were about 6 of them directly in front of me doing tricks on their motorcycles. They appeared to be in their 20’s and to be having a wonderful time on their ride. A few of them were standing on the seats of the motorcycles and pulling the front tire up and balancing on the back tire. They were doing other things as well. And they appeared to have no fear!
My first response was to feel concern for them and the other drivers, myself included, as we were all going about 60 miles an hour including the motorcyclists. And I would say that my concerns were valid. However, on another level, I was in awe of them. Of course, I didn’t realize this at the time especially while talking to my mom and addressing her fears for me and, at the same time, being concerned for the safety on the road for all of us.
When I arrived home and contemplated on this situation, I realized what an amazing situation life force provided for me to witness. I have been working through my own fear based issues pretty much my whole life. My parents came from a generation that witnessed the Great Depression, World War ll, and later the Vietnam War. Their parents before them also witnessed wars and poverty and so forth down the lineage of ancestors. Fear was ingrained in them and I do not blame my mom for sharing her fears with me. It is her way of showing love and concern. It was what she learned as well.
When I just keyed into the energy of these young motorcyclists, and not focusing on the safety part of what was occurring, I could feel joy, community, fearlessness within them and their riding. And I know that this situation was for me to witness, at that moment in time, as it was in great contrast to what my mom was presenting to me at that very moment. The Yin and the Yang of life, the hiding and the thrill of life!
I had thought about not attending the training that afternoon. I had not slept well, and the old voice in my head stemming from my mother’s fears, was that I was too tired to go. However, a dream the night before had showed me that it was my ancestor’s voice getting in my way. In the dream, I was heading into the yoga training but was late for class as my mother was there and kept talking to me. When I woke and experienced the concern of being “too tired” to drive all the way up to the studio and participate in the training, I remembered the dream and realized it represented my mother’s fears for me.
I made the decision to go to the training despite the concern of not sleeping well. I’m so happy that I did participate, as I had fun, learned new skills, and met new people. And when I feel into this situation, the energy was much like the motorcyclists that were enjoying their day out with their community. Perhaps the same danger thrill was not there, but in a way it was. I grew up with “tiredness and poverty” being the danger. And I continue to move through these past fears and realize they aren’t a reality for me. I know how to take care of myself, provide a good living and to get extra rest when needed.
Sometimes, life calls us forth, even when we are tired, or perhaps feeling a bit stretched financially. Life summons us to participate, have fun, and enjoy the thrill of trying new things, meeting new people, performing new tricks, purely for the fun of living! This means sometimes going forth despite not getting a good night’s sleep, or knowing exactly where our next pay check is coming from, or truly knowing if we are going to be safe doing what we are called to be doing.
Those motorcyclists did not know if they would fall off of their cycles. I did not know if I would be safe driving up to the class. None of us ever know, whether we stay home, or go outside our doors if we are going to be ‘safe”. But isn’t that the adventure of life? Doesn’t safety lie in something so much greater than our physical selves? Safety goes beyond mere physicality to embrace the soul and spirit of living!
There is nothing wrong with staying home and being relaxed, and in many ways this is a wonderful thing to do, especially if we have been working hard and many hours. Or perhaps we have gone through a very stressful time and just need to rest. However, life is about balance. Rest is good, but so is moving, changing, trying new things, meeting new people.
My suggestion to all of you ,when trying to make a plan about trying something new, is to ask yourselves these questions, especially if you are leaning one way or another but not sure about your decision:
“Am I making a decision because I truly need to rest and rejuvenate, or making it based on my ancestor’s or collective consciousness fears? Or am I making this decision based on the joy of trying something new, the thrill of learning a new skill, the excitement of meeting a new community or purely just for the fun of doing it?”
Whatever your answer is, feel into the energy of your answer. If your answer creates warmth over your heart, a feeling of joy in your body, a sense of peace or happiness in your mind, then go with that!! That is your soul calling to you! You can also experience anxiety while experiencing these positive emotions that is okay and you can even feel tired. However, if the thing you are deciding on provides only a feeling of trepidation, or worry without any good feeling to go with it, then chances are this is something that is not right for you at the moment.
Life is about balance. Rest is good, but so is trying something new. Are we going to hide out in life or get up on our metaphorical motorcycles and have the thrill of a lifetime, feeling the breeze on our skin, the sun in our faces, and the wind at our backs while sharing it with others!
Wishing you all the balance of healthy rest with the thrill of new adventure, the joy of making new friends and fun of experiencing and exploring all that life has to offer!
Namaste,
Rosemary