Dear Friends,
My sweet little puppy Willy, (who is not quite so little anymore, about 45 lbs), is almost 6 months old. We have been having such a blast exploring and playing together with my other dog Waldo. It is always so interesting to see the different personalities emerge with each new being that comes into my life. My other dog is an Australian Shepard who was an amazing jumper from his first month that I brought him home at 9 weeks old. Any chance he could/can get to jump he does and does so with gusto and confidence. Sweet Willy doesn’t seem to quite have this confidence even though he is as big as his brother and has longer legs.
I have seen Willy completely leap over Waldo and have observed him jump onto other things with ease while chasing my cat Jasper. However he seems to forget he can do this when prompted to have him jump into the car or anything else. He will put his paws up on whatever he is being asked to jump onto and then looks at me with his sweet pleading brown eyes to please help him get to where he needs to go. I have tried coaxing him, bribing him, urging him to go for it but he still does not believe he can do it. Although, another part of me wonders if he is playing up the helpless little boy act for as long as he can!!
I have to say, it does make me laugh each time he does it because I know he can get up to the desired place easily. This behavior has also perplexed me and caused me to contemplate further on it. If everything in my life is a reflection for me to learn, than this behavior has caused me to wonder where in my life I am holding myself back and waiting for someone to “pick me up” before I move forward in life. I realize there are parts of me that are probably very capable of many things that I just don’t feel I “can do”.
I can think of a couple of areas in my life where I am quite adept and yet for some reason I still feel insecure about moving forward with participating fully with these things. Perhaps there is a little girl part of myself that still feels it needs the protection or permission of an adult authority figure before I can grasp fully what I am wanting. Or perhaps, because of lack of support I just did not develop the confidence to do certain things.
But the key thing that I want to share is that we bring certain qualities and traits with us as we enter this world. We all differ in terms of what it is we need to work out in our lives on this earthly plain. Waldo has quite a bit of confidence. Willy obviously needs a bit more support to develop his. I thought about not helping Willy up any more to these places that I know that he can quite easily get to himself. I thought maybe I was enabling his dependency on me. I thought about taking a harder stance with him. I tried not helping him this morning and the next thing I knew he got stuck behind my bed and needed my help getting out. Okay, the picture is getting clearer! Perhaps he is playing up the helpless act a bit!
Even so, I made a decision that I will continue to urge him to do what I know he is capable of doing. However, if he continues to want me to help him I will for a while longer. My sense is one day he will all of a sudden develop the confidence on his own much like a child learning to ride a bicycle without the training wheels. Sometimes we all want to hang on to the help of another a bit longer than perhaps we need to.
We all have areas of life where we need a bit more support than perhaps another person does . We all have different abilities and insecurities we carry from other lifetimes and diverse lessens that need to be learned. Where is the line between helping someone or ourselves develop confidence in these weaker areas versus pushing someone/ourselves beyond our comfort zone. Willy is helping me to redefine compassion for myself and others as I am finding compassion for him. From the outside, it can be so easy to see that someone else has the ability to show a certain trait or ability effortlessly and it can be easy to get frustrated with another who is showing a lack of confidence in themselves. Or we might get impatient with ourselves as well for being a “slow learner”.
But I wonder, if we could take a more loving view of others/ ourselves when we are lacking confidence in developing a certain trait or ability. By remembering that we all have our strengths and weaknesses, we can support another a bit more graciously in whatever task they are trying to learn. By holding on to the bicycle, so to speak, for a little bit longer when the need arises until all of a sudden that child takes off on his own or that sweet doggy leaps up on his own or we step up to a new task when we had proscratinated on this for so long.
I believe inherent in each one of us is the desire to learn and grow. When given the right support a person or animal will learn and grow and become more independent that is our inherent nature. We don’t have to second guess ourselves about how much is too much support! All we have to do is listen to our hearts and trust the person/child/animal we are supporting. That person may be ourselves. And one day they will surprise us or we will surprise ourselves in leaping into a new way of being with confidence and joy!!
Wishing you all the joy of learning new adventures and the thrill of leaping into confidence.
Namaste,
Rosemary Veilleux